When the Family becomes the Most Dangerous Place: Relations, Roles and Dynamics within Incestuous Families

Abstract

The family is supposed to give the child a sense of security, belonging, acceptance and love.1 If, however, instead of these pleasant experiences, the most prevalent atmosphere is that of, abuse, trauma, violence, horror and fear, the child will not feel safe, accepted and loved. Even worse, later in life, he will unconsciously search for situations that will awaken in him, and re-create that primary atmosphere and underlying affects, because in his intrapsychic world, they equal belonging and familiarity. Clinical experience and research show that incest is one of the severest traumas caused to the human psyche and body. In the paper, we will first present the definition, prevalence and discuss factors such as the duration of the incest and the age of victims and perpetrators. Then, we will describe the relations, roles and dynamics within incestuous families, where the child finds himself with his own pain among people who should be trustworthy, who should give safety and a sense of being loved, but instead they abuse the child, violating all the boundaries, taking away one’s dignity and killing the soul.